This is a little hard to write, but I wanted to because I think it's important. In reading others’ blogs, the more honest folks are with their struggles, the more it encourages me. It’s cathartic for me to write and I hope it will encourage others. (Gosh, sounds like I’m about to confess major sin or something…well, not really.)
Some of you know that our little Max is almost 11 months old and not crawling, pulling up, getting to a sitting position alone, etc. This “developmental delay” (hate those terms) has been really hard on me. For whatever reason, he’s just not as interested in those gross motor skills. He has a very content personality and, for the most part, he’s pretty happy playing on his little bottom. So, I’ve been worrying. I tend to carry guilt (did I not give enough tummy time?) and it’s so easy to fall into the comparing trap – I know moms can relate. BUT I want the Lord to be glorified. A lot of it boils down to my pride – ugh – that’s the hard part to say. I want to see what the Lord does through this; maybe help me trust Him more and not rely on my super-mommy pride. What else Lord?
Anyway, a couple weeks ago I looked into Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) services in our area. We’ve had a couple visits with really sweet ladies, and after yesterday's assessment, they determined that he does qualify for services (babies must be 2 months behind developmentally in any of 5 areas: cognitive, physical, emotional, etc.). In a couple weeks we’ll have another appointment to determine how often they’ll come and our goals, etc. It seems like it’ll be great.
It’s just hard admitting the need for help. But I thank God for it AND for our incredibly sweet Max. He’s the happiest, sweetest baby. I can’t wait to see more of his amiable personality as he grows. My dad says he’s “positive Max.” Lord, what a blessing.
I know I’ll look back on this and smile (and roll my eyes at my silliness) and hopefully have learned something. I know that God is on His throne and is so sovereign. He’s so good to help us through things (even minor things), gently teaching us the way to be, bringing good to us and glorifying Himself all along! Father, thank you for caring for your children so much! Such a good God…
Some of you know that our little Max is almost 11 months old and not crawling, pulling up, getting to a sitting position alone, etc. This “developmental delay” (hate those terms) has been really hard on me. For whatever reason, he’s just not as interested in those gross motor skills. He has a very content personality and, for the most part, he’s pretty happy playing on his little bottom. So, I’ve been worrying. I tend to carry guilt (did I not give enough tummy time?) and it’s so easy to fall into the comparing trap – I know moms can relate. BUT I want the Lord to be glorified. A lot of it boils down to my pride – ugh – that’s the hard part to say. I want to see what the Lord does through this; maybe help me trust Him more and not rely on my super-mommy pride. What else Lord?
Anyway, a couple weeks ago I looked into Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) services in our area. We’ve had a couple visits with really sweet ladies, and after yesterday's assessment, they determined that he does qualify for services (babies must be 2 months behind developmentally in any of 5 areas: cognitive, physical, emotional, etc.). In a couple weeks we’ll have another appointment to determine how often they’ll come and our goals, etc. It seems like it’ll be great.
It’s just hard admitting the need for help. But I thank God for it AND for our incredibly sweet Max. He’s the happiest, sweetest baby. I can’t wait to see more of his amiable personality as he grows. My dad says he’s “positive Max.” Lord, what a blessing.
I know I’ll look back on this and smile (and roll my eyes at my silliness) and hopefully have learned something. I know that God is on His throne and is so sovereign. He’s so good to help us through things (even minor things), gently teaching us the way to be, bringing good to us and glorifying Himself all along! Father, thank you for caring for your children so much! Such a good God…
6 comments:
I know it's hard not to compare, but just think of all of the great things that Max is/does. I'm sure ECI will be a wonderful tool for you. And as far as "putting it out there", isn't it theraputic?! Love ya much
It is hard not to compare, but God has things in His hands. Max is such a sweet little man and he'll truck right along in time. You cannot let yourself think that it's because of something you did or didn't do. That's Satan getting to you. Trust me, I know. Satan gets to me a lot these days with questions about my mommy abilities. I'm praying for you guys. Love ya girl!
Oh, Laura, ECI is at our house 2x a month because Maggie is not talking. She just started saying two word sentences regularly THIS WEEK. And she is two and a half. And I have gone thru the guilt of wondering if she is really just not bright. And feeling horrible for even thinking that, but how can you not? I am just rejoicing that today she told me "Pony go" when she could not find her pony. I mean, that is HUGE.
Megan at Sorta Crunchy posted on this same thing a few months back, about how her daughter's language delay was so hard for her. It is a great post...I will try and find the link.
So, so many of my friends have gone thru an ECI bout. As a former teacher and a mom of four, every kid has some issue. Every single one of them.
Here is Megan's post
http://sortacruchy.blogspot.com/2007/11/sortacrunchy-q-5-motherhoods-biggest.html
Laura, I thought for a moment you were describing Abigail. She just sat and was content with life for far too long in my opinion. She started walking at 17 months, for a reference point. And she was in a year of physical therapy (I think with ECI). It was great! During that time, she was lagging in the gross motor skills, but getting way ahead in most everything else as her little brain soaked in the world she was calmly watching.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."
Jay
I totally understand. I remeber with Aaron he didn't start crawling until 9 months and then was army crawling. But then walked at 11 1/2 months. He seemed to be doing good. But he really wasn't talking. Not even babbling. I was really worried. And his doctor was too. So when he was 19 months and the twins were almost 2 weeks old. He started with ECI. He did that until he was 3. Made some progress but not enough. We then did the walk in speech at the school (once a week. should have done it twice but with the twins being 1 1/2 and not being good or quiet in school and with being pregnant with Elizabeth. I couldn't do the 2nd day.) We did that for almost a year and they said he wasn't making enough progress and we should look into doing the ocean program at another school. That is were my pride and fears came in. I didn't think my child needed to be in a program for kids with disabilies. And I didn't like the idea of him riding a bus a 3 almost 4. But I couldn't take him everyday. It was during nap time. I already had Elizabeth and I was really tired. So after wasting so much time with walk in speech, we went to the PPCD program. He was in it for 2 weeks before school was over for the year. And I got a slap in the face. In just 2 weeks (10 days) being at the PPCD program he had done better than the whole 8 1/2 months in the walk in speech. So needless to say he did the whole 4 year program at the PPCD. He then started kindergarden this year. And because I waited so long to put him in the PPCD program he was behind the other kids. He has done amazing this year!! He has had to work extra hard to catch up to everyone. So when they asked if I wanted to put the twins in I said YES!! And they are both doing great. So good that Jeremiah may not last to long it in next year and Riley probably won't make it all next year either. I feel so guilty for taking so long to put Aaron in. I really hurt him with my pride and fears.
So what I am trying to say is, ECI is great and it will really help Max. Each child grow as there own speed and will do things there own time. Just know God made everything and everything he made is perfect!! Max will crawl and walk when he is ready. And watch he may just learn to run and not walk at all. Just know we are praying for you!!!
See you next week.
Christi
Laura:
Max reminds me of my own son, who lagged behind in gross motor skills. He caught up with his peers, but still is not a "sports guy". I'm interested to know about Max's fine motor skills. Can you elaborate?
Love, LeeAnn
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